November, and the many services of Remembrance in our Benefice, around the country and shown on TV focus our minds on peace and reconciliation.

Forgiveness is surely one of the greatest human and Christian virtues. Some of Jesus’ last words were “Father, forgive them” and those of us who try to be Christians try to be forgiving.

Forgetting is quite another matter; maybe we shouldn’t forget for we need to learn from past events how to make a better future.

That doesn’t mean, though, that we ought to bear a grudge. Forgiveness means letting go, putting a full stop, turning a page. Hanging on to hurts and grievances from the past can be very damaging and may well affect our mental and spiritual health. Getting the forgiving, letting go, forgetting and yet learning from the past in balance is when we are “as wily as serpents yet as gentle as doves”.

There’s a line in the Lord’s Prayer we all say so very often which helps us understand the importance in God’s eyes of forgiveness: “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.”

There we are, then; if we expect God to forgive us when we stand knocking at the pearly gates then we have to forgive others - generously, unceasingly, and unconditionally too.

Jesus forgave people even when they didn’t ask him to, even when they didn’t repent and say sorry, and certainly when they didn’t deserve forgiveness. His example is a tough one to follow.

Not that he was a doormat and walked all over! He told people straight “sin no more” making it quite clear that what they had done in the past was wrong, but also giving them the chance to live a valuable and worthwhile future without the millstone of guilt and failure hanging round their neck.

When we apply Jesus’ loving and forgiving attitude to current people and situations … like Oscar Pistorius, the nation state of Israel, Hamas, and Palestine, the IS forces which seem so dark and terrifying, how forgiving are we able to be?

Do you remember when gentlemen of a certain age wouldn’t drive a German car, or have a Japanese television in the house? And one could understand why.

Actually being able to say the words “I forgive” even if you don’t mean them or feel them (yet) might be the start of a really health-giving process. For the person you forgive and for yourself.